At the beginning of March, I spent 24 hours without my voice to be in solidarity with young people around the world whose voices are not heard, raising sponsorship for the work of Million Minutes.
Those 24 hours have given me space to reflect and be an active listener to those around me. It has been a very real challenge for me, and a challenge that I haven’t battled easily. With only one or two minor slip-ups, each interaction with other people presented me with a choice. A choice of whether I would put the energy and effort into playing charades to communicate with them, or if I would just pass up the opportunity to communicate entirely.
Those who know me, especially my family, were fairly skeptical if I would ‘survive’ the full 24 hours – they thought that I wouldn’t be able to last without sharing my opinion with at least one other person at some point in the day. This was my first point of reflection – do I speak more than I listen? Am I always quick to share my own thoughts before waiting and listening to the voice of others?
I made a conscious effort that my silence wouldn’t silence others – rather I would listen to them speak – but this was difficult when I couldn’t begin a conversation with them. But my experience of SiLENT goes so much further than these 24 hours – this reflection can be carried through the rest of Lent and beyond. Taking time in conversation to hold my own tongue, and instead, consciously take the time and effort to listen to the voices of those who are not heard loudly enough, or frequently enough.
While having dinner with my fiancé on Monday evening, he essentially had a one-sided conversation, sharing with me about his day. He asked about mine, and I went to some great effort playing charades for him to guess how my day had been spent – which was nothing exciting or out of the ordinary – but it turned into this huge game. Through the means of waving my arms around and pointing at things, I only focused on the physical actions I had taken, rather than how I was feeling – if I had focused on that, my actions would not have been as funny or wild. A mere twelve hours into my silence, I was feeling quite alone and isolated. While I know that my silence will end soon, this was the first time that I wasn’t able to share how I feel with the person that I am closest to. In these days where the world is terrifying and heart-breaking, leaning on someone that you love makes the weight of anxiety easier to bear. I feel for the people in the world, especially those in Ukraine, who are terrified, anxious, and alone.
Increasingly, we are becoming aware of the severity of our own mental wellbeing and the effect that a lack of self-care can have on our personal welfare. It can be difficult to reach out for support when we need it, as sometimes being vulnerable affects us in a much greater way. My time in silence this week brought back memories of a time when I couldn’t bring myself to share my thoughts and feelings. It was a stark reminder of how far I had come, and those who had helped me reach this point in my growth. Having this gentle reminder has brought to the forefront how crucial it is to check in with those around me who may be struggling, reaching out that hand of support, to let them know that there is a safe support system around them whenever they may need it.
This Lent, in fact, this year, I urge each person that reads this reflection takes a moment to consider how important your role is within this world. Understand the impact that your voice has; on yourself, on the people around you, in the Church, and in the world.